allora today was purty gud.

i learned this neato concept as i chose to stay awake in my culture class- the lesson not being to stay awake but rather that we, as a collective world, have no idea what feminism is.

this, of course being because the femininity that we are acquainted with has been constructed by men in a patriarchal society, and the American revolution of androgyny results in a neutered masculinity instead of a true femininity.

it actually gets kind of creepy once you get into it because you realize how much of a fucking asshole Aristotle was and how much his misguided philosophies have dominated western society. I suppose that, in general, his teachings positively propelled society but then again so did Jesus and I fucking hate that kid. I would have rather we stayed primitive and innocent for a few centuries until a better genius came along.

Aristotle learnt from Plato who learnt from Socrates, none of whom admit that before Socrates came a lady named Diotima. Aristotle once famously told the world

” the courage of a man lies in commanding, a woman’s lies in obeying; that “matter yearns for form, as the female for the male and the ugly for the beautiful;” that women have fewer teeth than men; that a female is an incomplete male or “as it were, a deformity”: which contributes only matter and not form to the generation of offspring; that in general “a woman is perhaps an inferior being”; that female characters in a tragedy will be inappropriate if they are too brave or too clever”(Freeland 1994: 145-46).

anyways there are millions of implications to this train of thought and most of them can be sumed up based on how you answer this fun, easy, three question survey!

which of the following do you consider to be the results of biological nature, and which are results of society’s nurture? Pick one only pleazeeee.

Sex.

Gender.

Sexual Object. (That’s apparently how sociologists refer to ’sexual orientation’)

okay. so basically… the last one is just for fun and since no one in 2008 seems to deny that sex is the result of DNA, basically it comes down to whether or not you think gender, not sexual objectivity, is nature or nurture. I am supposed to relay that neither makes you an evil person but all ima gunna say is that the pope thinks that this a matter of nature and any rational, loving, human would probably say nurture.

That is probably why the pope’s church is withering painfully and slowly and will no longer exist in 500 years except maybe in China where its just catching on. Or atleast, i really fucking hope that the days of female obligation are over since that’s just a fucking silly concept. The male and female are perhaps compliments, but certainly not mirrors and never opposites. Apparently, the fact that vaginae can’t erect has really screwed you guys over. Isn’t that what it kind of boils down to really? The fact that women can be, and often are, put in a situation where they must unwilling accept the huge scary penis while the opposite seems to be physically impossible.

There are … quite a few things I feel the need to talk about today, Doc.

I’m sorry I’ve missed our last few appointments… I suppose I wasn’t even going to come today either, but … well yea you know how it goes. right? right? This does happen to everyone, then? This sort of blockage or constipation or whatever – I am emotionally stale.

I think some people might call this depression but ho hum I guess I’ve just been denying that for a god five years now and would like to continue doing so.

The worst part is, Doc … I just don’t see this ending well. I get pills, turn myself into a happy zombie; its sort of an inevitability, but I think it can hold off another boy down the line… one more chance to set things on a more normal course of action. Instead of a breathless mutters of contentment I could be… oh I don’t know a functioning alcoholic or something.

That seems like a plan, right?

Oh yea I suppose… I just don’t find it that fucked up the way I get attached. I’m sure that you would categorize it as destructive or unnatural or whatever, but when I fall in lust or love or obsession or whatever this chronic condition is I can’t help but be a little excited about it. It gives me something to live for, something to dream about. Living for the chance to be in a restrictive contract with another, equally fucked up adult – that might not be everyone’s idea of paradise, but for me… all of that drama all of those nights are defiantly worth the effort and uncomfortable surprises.

I’m trying to say that I don’t like people, I don’t fit in and those people who I let in soon find that I prefer a safe amount of distance. The best of friends don’t touch me. I don’t like to be touched. There are, of course, people who I’ve let come close, but I’ve known them for quite a while. Perhaps that’s why this Michael thing has crippled me. Michael Michael Michael. Oops I said his name! Say what you want about my sexual habits, but I don’t let people come as close as Michael did. I think about certain … situations and suprise myself. Did I really let someone sleep in my bed?

And maybe I shouldn’t in the future. Maybe I should be more catious. Find a way to continue to temporarily obsess over boys from lower caste systems untill they try to fuck me and figure out their options. There are two, you know: commitment or fury.

It is strange to me the way I am able existentially observe my curosities but am unable to change them. If I could, there wouldn’t be any reason for you Doccy. Unfortunately, I seem doomed to dream about happily kissing boys who haven’t talked to me since I woke up in their beds confused and hungover.

At least I have the ability to get some, I suppose.

Drugs and alcohol help with that too, generally.

I’ve been having sex dreams. Obnoxious sex dreams where we fuck on every surface of your place.

You are the least legitimate of my trophies, but if I have my way you will be inbetween my legs soon enough.