I’m really fuckin’ depressed is how this starts. Never in that knees-buckling drop the phone in the the street and sob just received horrible news kind of way but rather in a functional kind of way like a diabetic child who just has to stop and take insulin shots every now and then and she’s fine otherwise.. It’s the weather mostly, the feeling of feeling trapped but also the complete lack of long-term motivation. a goal is something you shoot a lacrossse ball into.
and she doesn’t want to see me right now. She’s got a couple of really good excuses but like you’ve said, if they’re really invested couldn’t they make time? maybe not. I certainly wouldn’t, but I also don’t have the problem of being busy in the least. I walked to the god-damn Southern theatre yesterday which isn’t that far but considering just the agony of walking to the bus stop I can’t help but think I was subconsciously trying to punish myself for something.
On the upswing: they are way into my spoken word despite the fact that I really have nothing to speak for.
