scoop on poop

did you know the porn industry wants a bailout now too?

It’s a rough world out there folks. I’m re-medicating. also…well also nothing. My life’s on hold right now as I wait to return to minneapolis and I’m optimistic about the future and even if finances don’t fall under the opti-brella I’m determined to make it work and carry on.

 

boom!

i’ll fuck you shut

hello hi I am here on the couch and I don’t know if I am getting anything done today besides charming the pants off of rick mccormick

 

homestedz

it’s almost five in the morning and for some reason I just haven’t gone to sleep yet. i’ve been researching my new house! oh i’m tired though but here’s what I learned real quick

it is fourteen blocks to work.  from work I am basically on campus it’s a nice easy bike ride really.

I live in a neighborhood downtown called Elliot Park. it has a park in it that’s called Elliot Park too. Elliot Park has a skatepark. this is good because sometimes I like to pretend I’m on the show rocket power (I’m usually Reggie because she’s the girl but I have a soft spot for twister)

Elliot Park used to be a place for hardasses to live but it is a real up and comer these days. I am sort of against gentrification in theory but in practice (especially in the neighborhood where I live) I am crazy about it. call me a racist; you’re probably right

god damn I’m really tired. I bet because I haven’t slept yet

well what else

oh I used google maps to see an aerial view of helsinki. it’s neat. baghdad is pretty interesting to look at too

I’m getting off topic but Lubitsch’s 1919 movie Madame Dubarry is fucking awful. they have these big ol monologues that I can’t hear because talkies weren’t invented yet . just as well because the actors were probably speaking german.

back to my house. It used to be a hotel. all the rooms have numbers on the doors. nifty. we have a bear claw bathtub. I probably won’t take a bath but that’s nice.

back to lubitsch. I love that old hollywood magic of his. but this shit is pre-old hollywood magic. it’s old berlin cockamamie.

who says that? cockamamie. maybe my grandmother. probably not.

 

Oh… um sorry I’m late to the pity party.

There are … quite a few things I feel the need to talk about today, Doc.

I’m sorry I’ve missed our last few appointments… I suppose I wasn’t even going to come today either, but … well yea you know how it goes. right? right? This does happen to everyone, then? This sort of blockage or constipation or whatever – I am emotionally stale.

I think some people might call this depression but ho hum I guess I’ve just been denying that for a god five years now and would like to continue doing so.

The worst part is, Doc … I just don’t see this ending well. I get pills, turn myself into a happy zombie; its sort of an inevitability, but I think it can hold off another boy down the line… one more chance to set things on a more normal course of action. Instead of a breathless mutters of contentment I could be… oh I don’t know a functioning alcoholic or something.

That seems like a plan, right?

Oh yea I suppose… I just don’t find it that fucked up the way I get attached. I’m sure that you would categorize it as destructive or unnatural or whatever, but when I fall in lust or love or obsession or whatever this chronic condition is I can’t help but be a little excited about it. It gives me something to live for, something to dream about. Living for the chance to be in a restrictive contract with another, equally fucked up adult – that might not be everyone’s idea of paradise, but for me… all of that drama all of those nights are defiantly worth the effort and uncomfortable surprises.

I’m trying to say that I don’t like people, I don’t fit in and those people who I let in soon find that I prefer a safe amount of distance. The best of friends don’t touch me. I don’t like to be touched. There are, of course, people who I’ve let come close, but I’ve known them for quite a while. Perhaps that’s why this Michael thing has crippled me. Michael Michael Michael. Oops I said his name! Say what you want about my sexual habits, but I don’t let people come as close as Michael did. I think about certain … situations and suprise myself. Did I really let someone sleep in my bed?

And maybe I shouldn’t in the future. Maybe I should be more catious. Find a way to continue to temporarily obsess over boys from lower caste systems untill they try to fuck me and figure out their options. There are two, you know: commitment or fury.

It is strange to me the way I am able existentially observe my curosities but am unable to change them. If I could, there wouldn’t be any reason for you Doccy. Unfortunately, I seem doomed to dream about happily kissing boys who haven’t talked to me since I woke up in their beds confused and hungover.

At least I have the ability to get some, I suppose.

Drugs and alcohol help with that too, generally.

 

william tell

i have eaten all my food too fast. man I’m tired but i’m also hungry. I think tired will win. this experience is great but I somehow got ants on my bed. but this couch is really comfortable so I’m lucy. I mean lucky. I love lucy but I’m not her. stupid mistake. Moving on, beautiful victorian in midtown? maybe so. keep the eyes peeeeeeel.ed. for other stuff that crops up. pops up.

i bought a disposable to capture a little of this supernova of life here in the mountains. no grain but plenty of green. anyway you construe “green” is correct. I love you!

i don’t miss brecht

 

sardoodledom

so here I am right now baked as shit and I am watching the Scripps National Spelling Bee watching these kids eat it. I’ve gotten a few words right but they are damn hard! )p

I used to compete in spelling bees when I was younger. I always won the school spelling bee and got psyched out at the citywide competition. Homeschooled motherfuckers. Anyway I was pretty kickass nonetheless. I used to be so nerdy! I am nerdier now, it’s just a more specific kind. I never read the dictionary, though I told people I did.

I secretly root a little harder for the white kids.

because those indian kids are fucking robotas.

 

summster

there’s something about the 90 degree mark that really makes me shiver in my boots (ironically enough). st louis should be hitting it by the end of the week and that makes me wanna fuck shit up. i adjusted to the sub-zero highs in february and now I’m going to get baked, but not in the way i like
the chest x-ray came back negative. this is good news. I’ll get a call tomorrow about the blood work. if the CBC is normal then I will shit my pants with relief. then I’ll clean it up, don’t worry

tonight is going to be a good night. hold your horses I’ll tell you why in just a second! would you let me take off my shoes? I just got home!

okay thank you. Well my family is going to the buffet. and not just any shitty Old Country Buffet or whatever they are calling it. this shit is 25 dollars a person. well it’s free because my mom works there. no not at the buffet stupid! she’s white!* She works in the HR department at the casino where this smorgasbørd is lokaäted. it’s fantastic trust me. google harrah’s st louis and you will probably be able to dig up a review or something. i’m too lazy to do that for you. however I will throw you a bone (a chicken bone picked clean by my father who always goes straight for the fried chicken at these things (even though he’s white too*)). here are some useful tips to follow if you ever find yourself at a buffet and you want to get your money’s worth

à Dieu!

*I’m entitled to use racial stereotypes because I have a permit from the state of Missouri

 

Finalls

why so blue panda?

because this test it 40% of my grade, rabot.

 

top ten favorite dinosaurs go.

Yoshi

I’mda Baby

L to R : Rooter, Ducky, Littlefoot, and Cera

ハローキティ, Harō Kiti

Unhappy Children in Charizard Costumes

Mr. Williams

Mrs. Williams

Funshine Bear

Tyrannosaurus

annnnddddd my # 1 favorite dino…

Trannyosaurus

http://www.nesplayer.com/features/nintendurbation/zeldaboardgame.htm