pity party of two?

I’m really fuckin’ depressed is how this starts. Never in that knees-buckling drop the phone in the the street and sob just received horrible news kind of way but rather in a functional kind of way like a diabetic child who just has to stop and take insulin shots every now and then and she’s fine otherwise.. It’s the weather mostly, the feeling of feeling trapped but also the complete lack of long-term motivation. a goal is something you shoot a lacrossse ball into.

and she doesn’t want to see me right now. She’s got a couple of really good excuses but like you’ve said, if they’re really invested couldn’t they make time? maybe not. I certainly wouldn’t, but I also don’t have the problem of being busy in the least. I walked to the god-damn Southern theatre yesterday which isn’t that far but considering just the agony of walking to the bus stop I can’t help but think I was subconsciously trying to punish myself for something.

On the upswing: they are way into my spoken word despite the fact that I really have nothing to speak for.

 

bread and butter

nick come back!

my bitchin sneaks came today. they are bitchin. if I cut my toenails it won’t hurt to wear them. but you know, sometimes there are just more pressing tasks. Like quitting the community engagement scholars program at the U of M because I haven’t done any kind of volunteering since my service learning class which was wonderful. I still need to return a book to liz boyle that I borrowed in november

i don’t think i brought it with me and it will be really embarrassing if I ever see her again

my sneakers are telling me to tell everyone on the internet “hi”

The Republicans at the Holiday Inn are coming into Noodles in full force! They like everything. They all donate a dollar to Tools for Schools if I ask. I bet they want to improve their image. Good luck. While we’re still in this paragraph that I’m typing with proper capitalization and punctuation, I’d like to remark on Sarah Palin, whom, if you didn’t know, is John McCain’s pick for running mate.

Sarah Palin and John McCain lovefest

Many people, including myself, know absolutely nothing about her. I’ve done some research, however, to get you started! She’s younger than Obama and has only been the governor of Alaska for two years. She finished second in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant. She’s in the NRA. What else… OH! She said this about weed: “I can’t claim a Bill Clinton and say that I never inhaled.” And she’s in bed with just about every major Evangelical organization there is. She hunts, eats moose hamburger, ice fishes, rides snowmobiles, and owns a float plane (I googled this and it looks cool as hell). She has five kids and they all have weird names (Bristol, Trig, Willow, Piper, and Track). On the gays: she is definitely against marriage which is really not a fucking surprise but she made a point of saying she supports equal rights for gay couples and she has gay friends. In other words she has the exact same stance as Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and John McCain, not to mention just about every Democrat and an increasing number of Republicans in Washington. Adamant pro-lifer. While the term “social conservative” seems to be applied to her a lot, I’m not convinced, but I guess as our country grows more progressive (albeit at a painfully slow pace) that term can change in meaning. The Democrats have an excellent opportunity to ream John McCain for knocking Obama’s lack of experience and then choosing an even less experienced running mate. But the Republicans can just as easily rebut with the idea that they got it right by having an experienced presidential candidate and a youthful VP pick while the Democrats got it upside down. But what is clear is that she’s unknown on the national stage and McCain is certainly pandering to women who are bitter about Hillary Clinton’s loss. I’m a tad bitter too but as my little brother says, I’m voting with my head instead of my cooter. The bottom line is that Sarah Palin is a real mixed bag, and remember, if McCain wins there is a very real chance she could be president.

That said, “mixed bag” is a step up from “Mitt Romney.”

 

whoooo knew? or, why girls suck.

allora today was purty gud.

i learned this neato concept as i chose to stay awake in my culture class- the lesson not being to stay awake but rather that we, as a collective world, have no idea what feminism is.

this, of course being because the femininity that we are acquainted with has been constructed by men in a patriarchal society, and the American revolution of androgyny results in a neutered masculinity instead of a true femininity.

it actually gets kind of creepy once you get into it because you realize how much of a fucking asshole Aristotle was and how much his misguided philosophies have dominated western society. I suppose that, in general, his teachings positively propelled society but then again so did Jesus and I fucking hate that kid. I would have rather we stayed primitive and innocent for a few centuries until a better genius came along.

Aristotle learnt from Plato who learnt from Socrates, none of whom admit that before Socrates came a lady named Diotima. Aristotle once famously told the world

” the courage of a man lies in commanding, a woman’s lies in obeying; that “matter yearns for form, as the female for the male and the ugly for the beautiful;” that women have fewer teeth than men; that a female is an incomplete male or “as it were, a deformity”: which contributes only matter and not form to the generation of offspring; that in general “a woman is perhaps an inferior being”; that female characters in a tragedy will be inappropriate if they are too brave or too clever”(Freeland 1994: 145-46).

anyways there are millions of implications to this train of thought and most of them can be sumed up based on how you answer this fun, easy, three question survey!

which of the following do you consider to be the results of biological nature, and which are results of society’s nurture? Pick one only pleazeeee.

Sex.

Gender.

Sexual Object. (That’s apparently how sociologists refer to ’sexual orientation’)

okay. so basically… the last one is just for fun and since no one in 2008 seems to deny that sex is the result of DNA, basically it comes down to whether or not you think gender, not sexual objectivity, is nature or nurture. I am supposed to relay that neither makes you an evil person but all ima gunna say is that the pope thinks that this a matter of nature and any rational, loving, human would probably say nurture.

That is probably why the pope’s church is withering painfully and slowly and will no longer exist in 500 years except maybe in China where its just catching on. Or atleast, i really fucking hope that the days of female obligation are over since that’s just a fucking silly concept. The male and female are perhaps compliments, but certainly not mirrors and never opposites. Apparently, the fact that vaginae can’t erect has really screwed you guys over. Isn’t that what it kind of boils down to really? The fact that women can be, and often are, put in a situation where they must unwilling accept the huge scary penis while the opposite seems to be physically impossible.

 

Dear Diary

TODAY WAS SOOOOOOOO GOOOD XOXOX

zomg i woke up in a boys bed this morning! how did THAT happen tee hee?

well what i remember was pretty good and i think i stuck my tongue in his ear which sounds weird but is really great.

well then i totz walked home with Megan giggling all the way i’m sure i looked really hot.

after tearing off my clothes i found some space in my laundry and took a little nappy poo. I covered mahself up with some dirty towels because I was soo cold and fuck whered all those blankets go? oh there, across the room.

knock knock!

i’m naked!

come eat!

alright.

i took a shower and tried to puke to no avail. then i had party butt. to the victor go the spoilzzz ;( ) :@ ‘* ||$

I didn’t eat because my tummbly was all rumbly

I still had fun trying to impress the people I should feel comfortable around! *wink in general direction*

but thats not even the best part. we watched gymnastics. so much gymnasting and the girls are all 4′5 and required to own really miss-shape-en noses and the floor dance catagory is really fucking lame. Gymnastics, TLC, and Brandy as Cinderella SO GOOD.

 ++=

Guys i mean i’m like really bored!

oh man michelle and I are goin to the Electric Fetus.

alright let me put on some pants.

Wade H works at EF, WHOOO KNEW?!

Alright Wade I’d like to buy these 6 (six) cds.

sounds goo man, have you heard of these guys before?

Oh no actually. I’m really impulsive. Like a grandmother about to die.

Kate Nash is such a silly gurl.

Okay Maggie you’re stoned out of your mind but try to meet me outside of Urban Outfitters at 5:30. I can’t go in there I was banned for trying to shoplift.

 What? oh nick your so silly I’m gunna make you search for me for 25 minutes at least.

Okay I guess I’ll  walk around with Pual, he speaks really softly so I never have a clue what he’s saying but he’s my people.

Let’s walk around Mall of America being absolutely ridiculous.

Today’s Games:

1.  Japanese Words
2. Did you hear?
3. What Stacy did.
4. Family Dinner
5. Public fights
6. Crazy Inventions
7. VAN

Okay you wanna go?

Wait let me but another 60 (sixty) dollars worth of shit from Ragstock first.

mmmm okay?  are those tablecloths?

yea.

ALright Middlebrook I’m home what do you have to offer me? lonliness and discontent? i’m good what else you got? oh Sam’s here again.

God Shannon and Sarah are the best people ever. Beautiful angles.

Alright I guess I can hang out with THOOSE PEOPLE, even though they make me feel like THAT PERSON.

Sam are you flirting with me? What the fuck??

Okay I guess we should have looked up Steady’s hours first, but I think of all people tattoo artist would work until fourth meal.

Okay yeah Applebee’s will probably make us feel less lame but they love their shitty 90’s music.

Here I am middlebrook what do you got this time? Batman Begins? meh…

I think i’d rather sit in this room full of people drinking Colt 45.

stop texting me were in the same room. oh you want to gossip? i guess thats cool then.

ADAM I GET IT YOU HAVE AN UNNATURALLY HIGH SEXUAL LIBIDO

Hey Ernest you want to cuddle? I’ll be big spoon!

oh wait you’re drunk out of your mind again? 

just go to bed.

Addy haven’t talked to you since last night where you be?

Alright yea let’s sit here and talk about things and wave at that drunk CA.

People whose asses I touched today:

• Tom
• Zach
• Megan? I’m sure…
• Ben
• Maggie? Who knows.
• Tristan, electronically
• 20 people in The Mall
• 

People who don’t think Maggie and I are funny

• H+M homosexual
• robots

People who think Maggie and I are really funny

• most people. (around 80%)
• stoners (around 100% of stoners)
• the 8th floor
• rabot

catch ya laterz!!!

ttyl

lyl

lolz

brb

bb

lylas

lylab

lylal

<3

 

come out and play

do you want to come out and play with me? I really want to go get high on top of that building where my pals put all the furniture.

to update you: I am done with class and I am ready to get crackin back to stl. my life smells weird

 

stick around

Magster here.

Today as you’ve read, Nick and I flew a kite. Update on that:

At approximately 3:30 this morning, a bit over half an hour ago, we went outside, lit some cigarettes, found a rake, and headed down to the tree to do some business. Short story short the kite was up way higher than we imagined and though a few rake throws provided little encouragement, we left the rake there like a video game Nick says and we’ll come back to that bridge and cross it. Yesterday afternoon we would have found a solution a bit more easily. But it looks nice at least. All rainbows. In rainbows. Radiohead. I never got into them despite (because of) Jim Broton’s suggestion that I listen to ALL of Ok Computer. whatever jimsie

On a different cold front, I have about eight days left here in the Twin Cities and that makes me nervous. No more seeing everyone everyday. No more seeing anyone period. I’ll call you! I have a lot to wrap up because now that I’m going home I feel like I’m leaving for college all over again. Even more packing though. Leaving pals. Pallzzzz puppet pals. I would make a puppet show about my friends but I aint got no puppet material. I could just stick my hands up their asses and wave them around, make them say things. conceptual art at its best.

speaking of which I saw a naked girl fall off a cliff yesterday. tristan didn’t, he was blindfolded, but I bet he suspected. crasho bango. She’s okay though said the one woman. “She’s okay” that’s all I needed to hear, let’s go home Nick. and we did. Well Nick went to a BFA party and probably puked in his own sink, and I wrote a star spirit play with Jeff. or the beginning. more on this later. Nick does funny pictures but I won’t do those okay?

celebratin’ no dumb picture. celebrating’ (?) the end of the year. my birthday is coming up sooner than you know. border hop? not that I drink, I don’t, but a good Ontario moonshine can’t be beat with a stick

my grandmother would know. JK they make wine. Seriously with a cellar and shit. my mom’s parents are the type of old people I can tolerate at Noodles because they speak loudly and clearly and can hear shit. And they’re funny. My grandma says “tits” and my granddad has some fightin words for George W Bush. Me too but I am a US citizen gramps. you focus on your own corrupt political system. sorry Canada it’s true. You hold a fucking recall every 11 months. elections are like masturbating to you guys

that about sums it up. my mom told me you could get an ounce of weed for 25 dollars back in her hey day. the seventies. in canada. That’s cheap yo. It took me forever to weasel it out of her but she was a “toker” as they said. what a goof, my mom. I believe nick posted a picture of her in an earlier entry. I’m half asian, half dino. I just look like a white person but I am kind of scaly. feel my skin, you’ll see!

That’s all, I would update you on important things but I can’t say it all so I’ll just do it in one fell swoop (shakespeare started that shit. he’s the origin of more phrases than you can imagine, including “twat waffle” and “douche canoe” both from As You Like It*): igotthegrantthatiappliedforsoiwillbeworkingforthegermanscandinaviananddutchdepartmentasanundergraduateresearcheronanimpossiblyarcanetopicwhichiwontdescribe

breath

andimgoingtothecatskillsandimnotdatinganyonebecauseallthelesbiansherelooklikemenwithmantitsthatarereallyjustrealtitsbutthesecreaturessureashellarentwomen

done!

*2006 Margaret Williams Basement Theatre adaptation

 

the short of it

The sun is rising! It’s not really clear who’s writing this. It’s Maaaaaaggie. Don’t worry about it. It’s too early and I should probably go back to bed because I’m not getting anything done but the fucking sun is so cool. It rises! by itself! because the universe is centered around the earth. People still put a lot of stock in what the Catholic church has to say despite all that stuff in Galileo. So Little Monk really had nothing to worry about